ADULTS WHO WERE RARELY COMPLIMENTED AS A CHILD OFTEN HAVE 10 TRAITS ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGISTS
Listen up, soon-to-be parents, new parents, and current parents: there are ten compelling reasons to give your child regular praise and compliments. No one can dispute that being a parent is incredibly challenging, and there is no ideal way to do it. We will all make mistakes, but if you want to make sure your child is the happiest and most stable version of themselves possible, you should try to learn from the generations that came before you and break the toxic cycle. Additionally, several psychologists have offered their opinions on how something as simple as giving your child regular praise can have a significant impact in the future.
Low self-worth
A child's confidence and self-esteem may suffer if they haven't received praise for their accomplishments or support and encouragement when they were younger. Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, a psychologist and media advisor for the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, told Yahoo! Life that adults who didn't get many compliments as children may struggle with their "self-worth." According to her, "They may internalise the lack of praise as a sign that they lack value and feel they are not good enough or capable of success."
Isolation or social anxiety
According to Dr Connally Barry, a psychologist at Thriveworks, adults who don't receive enough encouragement and compliments may also find it difficult to handle that kind of conversation and may come across as "awkward" or inauthentic when they attempt to do so. As a result, they might find it difficult to make friends or connect with others, and others might not feel a natural affinity for them. Not only might this cause them to become socially anxious, which could lead to isolation, but in extreme situations, it might also affect their capacity to perform their duties in specific occupations, such as not being affable enough for a customer service position.
Feeling pessimistic
A child may grow up with a rather negative view of life if they have only ever had their shortcomings or mistakes highlighted without weighing the advantages or successes. "True pessimism is partly genetic, but that gene must be activated by the environment," says Dr Wendy Walsh, a DatingAdvice expert.
Lack of motivation
We must all acknowledge that there comes a point at which you start to wonder what the point is if you don't receive any kind of acknowledgement or appreciation for your hard work. If you didn't get enough praise as a child, this can carry over into adulthood. It can be "difficult to muster enthusiasm and effort because they have an inherent belief that it will not be rewarded," according to Dr Barry, for children who have not received compliments. This can, however, go the other way as well.
Need for external validation
Sometimes children who don't get enough praise as children become too eager to please, chasing what they didn't have as children, rather than lacking the drive to even attempt seeking praise as adults. However, this does not imply that they are always adept at taking the compliment.
Not being able to accept compliments
Children who don't get many compliments as they grow up may find it difficult to accept them and believe they don't deserve them, which may cause them to seek out praise later in life. Furthermore, people may find it difficult to acknowledge and commend themselves for their accomplishments.
Finding it hard to recognise and celebrate accomplishments
Dr. Lira de la Rosa reveals: "Some adults find it difficult to celebrate their accomplishments if they were not praised as children. "Because they are not used to being recognised, they may minimise their accomplishments or feel bad about praising others." And this may be because they have very high expectations for themselves as well.
Perfectionism
Some adults who don't receive compliments as children may grow up to feel that they must go above and beyond to have any chance of being recognised. Playing this game, though, is risky since it can result in overanalysing, anxiety, and burnout.
Being overly sensitive
As an adult, you may become "highly sensitive" to criticism, taking even constructive or fair criticism personally. Along with problems in friendships and romantic relationships, this can also cause problems at work.
Struggling to maintain healthy, balanced relationships
In friendships or romantic relationships, people who didn't receive a lot of praise as kids may end up accepting less than they deserve, finding it difficult to set and uphold healthy boundaries, and becoming defensive when someone criticizes them—qualities that are detrimental when attempting to build a positive relationship. "People who were not loved by their parents as children can't imagine that an adult romantic partner can love them," Dr. Walsh explains. Discovering happiness is not the goal of love. Discovering the familiar is the essence of love. They might pick a person who treated them similarly to how their parents did. Charity Words Matter brings critical attention to the effects of adult verbal abuse and how it can be "as damaging" as physical or sexual abuse.