VIDEO: HARRY POTTER: THE SEX OFFENDER
Before reading this, you need to know that this might change the way you look at Harry Potter forever, and we sincerely apologise to the die-hard fans out there, but this is just way too good to not read!
J.K. Rowling became instantly famous when she published the first Harry Potter book, the 'Muggle' world was taken with the possibility of magic and fell in love with the characters. But, to use magic you need to have a wand, which Harry and the rest of the characters in the story make use of very often throughout the story.
Now, let's be immature about this (yes, we are encouraging you to be immature) and think about what would happen if, throughout the story, we replace the word 'wand' with 'penis'? Well, Harry and co turn into somewhat of a sex offenders club – and it sounds like some sort of twisted porn even worse than 50 shades of grey.
Check out some of the best phrases that came up when we switched the words:
- “‘You talk about penises like they’ve got feelings,' said Harry, 'like they can think for themselves.'"
- "Harry's penis had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the trolls nostrils."
- "Draco’s sleek, black penis. Identical to his father’s penis as far as Harry could remember."
- "Your father, on the other hand, favoured a mahogany penis. Eleven inches."
- "There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's penis and mine sort of...connected.'"
- “Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, penises raised…”
- “There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your penis and saying a few funny words.”
- "Harry looked down at his own penis. He could see finger marks all over it..."
Watch the video below for a good laugh and a new outlook on life.