VIDEO: THE SOBRIETY TESTS THEY SHOULD BE USING

So, we all know the standard sobriety test. The cops will ask you to walk in a straight line or something as a way to tell if you've been drinking and driving, right?

But they have it all wrong. I'll give you two reasons why:

1. What about us clumsy AF folks? I can't walk in a straight line without getting at least 4 unidentified bruises in the process. And that's when I'm dead sober. Are we going to get arrested for simple awful hand-eye coordination? Because that's a damn crime on its own.

2. There are so many ways to see if someone is drunk nowadays that are way easier to identify than whether or not someone can walk in a straight line.

If you know anything about being drunk or being surrounded by wasted idiots, you'll know the signs...

Are they abnormally attracted to that pizza? Are they calling their ex crying? Are they overly excited about fucking nothing?

Come on, police. It's too easy to tell.

Here's the realistic sobriety test you should really be using!